im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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