What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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