and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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