You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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