I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
