Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize