I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
