yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
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