The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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