the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
