"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
