i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
