My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
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I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
So here I am, sexting at work.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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