What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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