Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
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I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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