it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
