You work out of a Hotel?
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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