Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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