Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
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somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
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Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize