just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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