know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
