Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
you would pick up someone in the library
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
