Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
