I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize