One girl and one boy is just not enough.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
