can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Randomize
