Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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