There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
