im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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