haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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