I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
