just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
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