I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
