Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
