I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize