We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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