when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I got inside last night via doggy door
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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