This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
