the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
