sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
