if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
