The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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