OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
