the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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