Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
