if i can run in heels then i can drive
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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