I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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