I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
