no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
