yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
