I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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