real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
