i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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