It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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