You're earring is so big in my mouth
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
